There is a reason I do not throw parties like I used to anymore. That statement is not due to COVID. Whether the gathering is large or small, I am totally perplexed as to why someone who is invited to a dinner party, birthday celebration, or picnic cannot RSVP. The lack of doing so shows their character. This person was lovingly thought of to be included in a small (or maybe large, it depends) circle of friends that the host/hostess wanted to share their love with them, yet they could not respect that relationship enough to say “Yes” or “No” to an invitation.
This my friend, is selfish disrespect and it is something that needs to end. The practice shows their character.
Here is a little story from a few years ago.
Once upon a time, the host/hostess (ok, I’ll say …. me) sent out invitations, garnered funds for a fabulous barbecue, bought all kinds of libations, soda, sparkling waters, etc. I had finger foods, steak, chicken, sausages, side dishes, desserts. I went all out. But because I counted on so many people showing up, whether they answered the invite or not, I needed to buy enough food for all invitees. There were a few that did not come, and only some of them responded to the invitation. I had food for the rest of the week. I also had food that went into the garbage, because it didn’t have a shelf-life in the refrigerator long enough for me to eat it every day.
After the party, I didn’t even get a “Gee, I had a car crash and was in the hospital for nine days” (kidding) or “Wow! Was that THIS PAST weekend?” (actual and factual). The lack of responding shows their character.
These people who could not bring themselves to say that they would come to eat with us or not are hedging their bets that something else more fabulous is coming around. Heavens forbid if you get concert tickets to Beyoncé after saying you’ll come to the barbecue. Actually, if that would have happened I would have told them to go and say “Hey, Bey” for me. THAT I would totally understand. But to sit in a state of hesitation, unsure to make a commitment to one thing, in the event something more fab is coming along, is just causing yourself (and others) far too much anxiety and disappointment. It shows their character. For these people who do not answer my invitations, I simply and quietly make a memory note in the back of my mind titled “Do not ever invite again”, and I never invite them again. I mean it.
By now, you are asking what the bigger lesson in all of this is (because there is always a deeper meaning to my writing). I’m getting there; just give me a minute.
I do quick question readings on my 877 line, and it is meant for someone who just wants to “get a taste” of my reading style or really just has one or two questions. I sometimes get a caller who asks a few questions on a current person of interesting qualities (a possible love connection) and then there is a hesitancy; a pause in their speech when the question is then asked, ‘ Ok, so I have someone else I want to ask a few questions about.’
See the correlation?
If you cannot look at another person as a potential love interest (however long you want that to be) and make a commitment to that potential partner, that person that looks to you as a potential partner, then how can you want to ‘hedge your bets’ with someone else? It shows their character.
C. S. Lewis said, “To love at all is to be vulnerable. Love anything and your heart will be wrung and possibly broken…’ He then goes onto state that if you lock your heart up, it will remain unbroken, yet alone and unused because of the fear of trying to consider loving someone.
It is understandable that you are afraid to ‘waste’ any time, thinking that a few a few months that all the love and interest you place in that relationship is all for naught. So you ‘hedge your bets’ on holding out for “something better”. What if “something better” never comes along? What if those Beyoncé concert tickets never come along? To ‘hold out’ for the potential of “something better” means you might be eating a Value Meal when you could have been at my house having Tri-Tip and margaritas. It shows your character.
