Memes. Ya gotta love ’em.

While scrolling things that I copied off my Instagram in my saved photos, a meme stops me from scrolling.

A man who wants you will snatch you the f*** up. Elusiveness is intentional and indecision is a decision. Accept it for what it is.

Wow. I wish I could have written that, but I did not and I don’t know who the author is, but I thank you for your words of wisdom.

Now before this blog post goes off into a forlorn love rant, which it looks like but I promise it isn’t, let’s look at the surface message this meme is giving us. I also want to mention that this meme could work for any gender, or for anyone who loves and is loved.

The first sentence speaks about “ownership” and alludes to the fact that like a fine bottle of liqueur on the shelf, you are sitting there waiting for your curvy container (bottle = body) to be caressed as the potential “buyer/purchaser” looks lovingly at you all snatched up firm and tight.  Those glistening eyes that are gazing at you either is because the purchaser needs a drink of something fine for a ‘fix or to chase away the ugliness of the World,  or a voyeur that knows one sip and their imagination will run wild with your intoxicating flavor. Nonetheless you, fine individual, are a treasure and a find. You need to carry yourself like that and give yourself a deep drink of that I Love Myself Sippy cup you sing about and post about and…. You get the picture.

The second sentence we are going to break it down into three parts, as it is a combination of different yet related ideas.

Elusiveness is intentional. I could make the argument here that delayed or extended elusiveness is intentional, as there really are situations that can keep a person on the edge of the ledge until a sign or something happens that will give them the green light to proceed forward. For the most part, I can agree with statement because to be elusive is to be difficult to find, catch or achieve, or difficult to remember or recall, according to Oxford languages and clearly or skillfully evasive by Dictionary.com. In a nutshell, being elusive in an relationship sends the message that the person cannot exude enough importance to the relationship with you to make a clear and concrete decision, good or bad, to even show they care.

Indecision is a decision.  What a way to throw wenches into plans to move in together, get married, or even sign a lease or put both of your names on a utility bill or car note. The one that is being indecisive is holding out for something “better” to come along. It’s like throwing a birthday party or a little get together and sending out invitations and not getting an R.S.V.P. – they are waiting to see if another invitation will come in at the last minute that might be “better” (food/drinks/entertainment). All the while, you are supposed to magically drop a few hundred dollars buying refreshments for people who may or may not come. What about people who “may or may not” want to be in a relationship with you? Given that you and others have gone through a history making event that took the lives of many, it might be time that you emerge from the safety of your home and back into Life with a new found sense that you truly have an idea of what you want and you will not settle ever again.

Accept it for what it is. This last piece of this statement on this meme drives the message home that you need to look at the relationship you are/were in and without self-judgment understand that the signs were there that indicated your worthiness to another person and their outward actions and expressions of their involvement with you are a clear sign of that is to be in the future.

So what do you do? First, do not take your frustrations out on yourself or the other person, In a way, it should be respected that you did indeed have that experience with that other person, as you have gained knowledge of what you want – and don’t want – in a relationship. Bless it quietly and allow it to pass and move into the past. Take that knowledge and invest your time in you so that you are stronger and more adept in seeing early signs of behavior that will indicate how you will be treated in the future. Self respect is respect of the Self, and when it seems you have no one to depend on – you have YOU. RuPaul said, “If you can’t love yourself, how the hell are you gonna love somebody else?”

 

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