“Let’s talk about sex, baby (sing it)
Let’s talk about you and me (sing it, sing it)
Let’s talk about all the good things
And the bad things that may be.” – Salt-N-Pepa – “Let’s Talk About Sex” 1991


This particular song, released as more of a physical health public announcement to today’s youth, still serves a a reminder about communication between people when it comes to the expectations each has about one another and the interaction between the two.

Many readings I do are in regards to relationships. Understandably, relationships are hard – even the long-term ones, as the World is sometimes not kind to a couple and the current social consensus might not promote togetherness. It is with clear, concise discussion – wait – even before that – determination – on what the relationship between two individuals should be, is the main crux of the problem.

We don’t talk and discern the messages – either spoken or displayed – to us before jumping into the sack with someone.

I get it. The purpose of the human body is to procreate. This is why you have hormones. Without hormones, rational thinking and a whole lot less impulsiveness would be considerably minimized. The need for the “day after” pill, or even contraceptives at all, would be questioned. The companies who make millions in the areas of sexual activity, whether to promote, diminish, or eliminate, all outwardly appearances of the outcomes from it, know that hormones are a mighty strong chemical reaction in the body.

But what about love? Yes, it is 2019, and there is an openness and acceptance to all different views about relationships – and the degree of intensity or commitment with them. Humans have educated themselves and evolved to levels of degrees of relationships maybe more than ever before. So why are we collectively still confused on where we stand in a relationship, with another human?

In magical communities, the need for clear insight as to what level of connection, a person is seeking with another is very important, as the wrong type of products, and advice, could be given. There are distinct oils, candles, sachets, and other items related to sexual attraction, as were are others that aid and support a long-lasting, loving relationship. It is the confusion of the user that “muddies the water”, thus rendering the effectiveness of the product or item.

This is not to say that you, the reader, should choose one type of human interaction/relationship over another, but to be more clear and using the powers of discernment that are God-given, to figure out if the other person is a “booty call” or something more.

Clarity of communication and finite expectations between two people at the beginning of even considering a relationship is very important. Too many times, one thinks the other means something that may or may not be true, and given the current trend of people who use text to communicate with another, confusion could very well be evident, as a text does not have a vocal inflection to emphasize a word, mood, or feeling. Texts in a relationship are a no-no; they are too impersonal. 

Once a level of clarity is met between two people, it is the continued efforts of clear communication of expectations that will make or break the relationship.

But what about mixed signals? They certainly can and do happen, even in face-to-face communication. Asking one another about where the relationship is going is necessary, albeit difficult, but nonetheless necessary so that one or the other do not get misled or confused about their participation in the couple.

So in conclusion, when you burn that red candle anointed with “Fire of Love” oil, make sure your intention is clear whether this is a one night stand or the beginning of a hot and steamy romance with that other person. If things are not clear, change up that candle to a pink one, anointed with “Love Me’ or “C’mere Lover Man” oil to get the spark ignited, but to also bring some clarity and a little affection to the event.



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