It is commonly considered that the most requested spell that is asked for is the love spell. Whether you have one created/worked on for you, ask just about any rootworker, spellcaster or witch, love spells rank numero uno in what their clients are seeking on a regular basis. These could be reconciliation spells, bringing in a new love spell, or to bolster a lagging or problematic love interest, all love spells needs the participation and focus from the client, which will be the hardest thing for them to do, since the client thinks they are in alignment with their love goals, and they are not. Attracting a love interest to you, or drawing closer someone who you have been close to you takes work. Sitting back and asking the worker/candle/spell to do it all is a recipe for disappointment. You must be part of the participation.

First, you must be ready for love. Is your life in a place where you can have time and space to welcome someone in? Are you in a stable career and living space? Are you in the middle of that last big push to get your Degree/Promotion/Project finished? Have you moved more than once in the last year? These might be big indicators that the Universe is keeping you too busy to work on creating a love nest for the two of you. Exploring your wanderlust and achieving goals is what you should be doing of course, but a very busy life means that you do not have the time right now to put these goals on pause to create a life with another.

Secondly, is your living space ready to accept another human, even for a night or two? Are clothes clogging up your closet and draped over chairs or hung over every door in the house? Your nest is comfy for you but all that stuff out and about is sending signals to the Universe that you have a nest for one – not two. Getting storage containers to rotate out seasonal clothing and stacking these under the bed or in a closet with open space for someone to stay with you when that event occurs.

Next we need to look at your personal habits. Are you scrolling/trolling your ex?  Do you have a friend that you have unfinished business with? Are you chatting with many people for the excitement of the ‘chase’ and not seriously considering one or two? The Universe is watching and you are sending signals that you are playing fast and loose in the game of love.

How do you look? Are your ends of your hair trimmed every 6 weeks? Are you going to the gym/doing some exercise to keep looking firm and sleek? Are you eating right? Getting enough sleep? Taking your vitamins? Hey, you want to be looking like Francesca Howard, that sleek kitten “Victoria” in the movie “Cats” and not something that the cat dragged in. Deep condition your hair and slather on lotion.  Eat more greens and veggies. Watch the alcohol consumption. Do this for just one week and you’ll see a difference. Investing in you and your looks is investing in your attractiveness in love.

Now take a lazy Sunday and with your journal (you have one, don’t you?) write all the qualities you want in a mate on a clean sheet of paper. You might need two. Dream and list everything that you could ever possibly want – attractiveness to only you, conscious of their words and deeds, maybe even love for your children – that’s a big one. Using your best literative (academic term for descriptive and professional) language, write everything you want in a mate. Then, take the top ten things and list them in order of importance. Some might think a good body is more important than career – that’s fine for them as they are going through a process of knowing their wants and needs. You have got to know what you want before you go shopping – or else you get a mish-mash of things that don’t jell and are useless. You have no time for that.

Next, be social and socially approachable. Go get a tea at the corner cafe. Yes you have tea at home but you never know who you might meet. When you hear about art galleries having showings, GO! It doesn’t mean you actually have to buy, right? Go to open mic nights at the comedy club or musical showcase. Go to the library. Walk around town if the weather is nice. Volunteer at the animal shelter or food bank. This shows any potential candidate for love your compassionate side. Go to church or temple – even once a month. You never know…

Lastly, love yourself. Many go around beating themselves up for not being this or that, making mistakes or just thinking that the World wouldn’t notice if they disappeared. Than is far from the Truth. Seek professional counseling if these thoughts are frequent and many. Most of us get them from time-to-time, but when they affect your health, looks, and career, it’s time to talk with someone who has a neutral opinion and can help you with your self-esteem. No matter what has happened in the past, you have moved forward from it and are here now. Look forward, not backward.

After all, RuPaul said it best when she said ‘if you can’t love yourself, how in the hell are you gonna love anybody else?’.

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